Hard to breath

This past few days, after I've discovered that you are still meeting him, you are still communicating him, my heart is bleeding. I can't breath. So hard to breath. Are you deserving for my trust? I can't help it but feel that you are fooling me. That you don't really love me. That you don't care about my feelings. I've tried to talk to you a lot but it will just end up arguing. I've tried to send you an email but got no response.

Thinking once, thinking twice, thinking trice, hundreds, thousands, millions.. Don't know. I really don't know. I don't wanna loose you. I want to be with you. I want to please you. I want to spent the rest of my life with you. But do I really have to face it that this is just what I want? Do you ever feel the same way?

I know for a fact that you want to have a family. I know also what you want to have a life with good financial stability. And as you said, you want to try a different kind of penis inside you. These things I can't give you. That's the saddest reality that I need to face.