April 17, 2013
I'm much afraid now of losing you completely beh as ever. I really can't imagine my life without you. Maybe because I'm still in the denying stage. Honestly beh I still draw my future with you. I still think and hope that you will change and be back to me.
I'm already teaching myself to forget you. A simply gesture of ignoring you in a day made me crazy. You being mad at me before going to bed made me cry and even think that we should do this because this must be the right thing to do.
Now that you are not sleeping with me anymore, I was really trying to accept it but I can't resist myself. I even try not to go to sleep while you are sleeping for me to have a reason to sleep at your side.
I just don't like the idea of you telling other people that I already am seeing someone else just to make your story more colorful. I know for a fact that you are just doing it for them not to force or even suggest you to get back to me but doing so, you are hurting my feelings beh.
I can sense beh that things will never go back just like the old days because you fall out of love anymore. But it is really hard for me to accept all of that. I know time will tell, maybe not now. Please beh, take it slow. As I am taking my moves slowly as well.
I love you so much baby. I know that you don't love me back the way I love you but I completely understand that. All I want is just to tell you that. I love saying it over and over again.
70th month, it is. Everything has changed. You are not happy anymore, I am not yet ready. Every minute, everyday, you became so brutal to me. You made me feel that I am really nothing to you. You even made me feel that you never loved me. That's what you are showing me beh. But I just look at the pictures we had together. I can feel the love again in my memories. I hope you will let me hold those memories beh.
Thank you God for everything. For the life even if it is not the life I wish I have. I'm sorry that I am like this. I'm sorry that I am not a good son. God please help me. Help me to find someone that will love me back or love me even more than my love to them. And please take care always of my baby bear. I hope he will find true happiness and contentment in life.
I'm already teaching myself to forget you. A simply gesture of ignoring you in a day made me crazy. You being mad at me before going to bed made me cry and even think that we should do this because this must be the right thing to do.
Now that you are not sleeping with me anymore, I was really trying to accept it but I can't resist myself. I even try not to go to sleep while you are sleeping for me to have a reason to sleep at your side.
I just don't like the idea of you telling other people that I already am seeing someone else just to make your story more colorful. I know for a fact that you are just doing it for them not to force or even suggest you to get back to me but doing so, you are hurting my feelings beh.
I can sense beh that things will never go back just like the old days because you fall out of love anymore. But it is really hard for me to accept all of that. I know time will tell, maybe not now. Please beh, take it slow. As I am taking my moves slowly as well.
I love you so much baby. I know that you don't love me back the way I love you but I completely understand that. All I want is just to tell you that. I love saying it over and over again.
70th month, it is. Everything has changed. You are not happy anymore, I am not yet ready. Every minute, everyday, you became so brutal to me. You made me feel that I am really nothing to you. You even made me feel that you never loved me. That's what you are showing me beh. But I just look at the pictures we had together. I can feel the love again in my memories. I hope you will let me hold those memories beh.
Thank you God for everything. For the life even if it is not the life I wish I have. I'm sorry that I am like this. I'm sorry that I am not a good son. God please help me. Help me to find someone that will love me back or love me even more than my love to them. And please take care always of my baby bear. I hope he will find true happiness and contentment in life.
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